Monthly Archives: February 2014

Letting Go and Feeling Naked Once Again…

Two years ago I wrote a blog, On Feeling Naked…, that revealed more of me than I really wanted to.   A lot has happened since.  This post, is a bit of a continuation on a tradition that I started back then.    It won’t deal with travel, Travel as most of you are used to from me, and neither will it have photos that may delight or appeal.  It won’t be long, or at least I don’t mean it for it to be so.  It’s a bit of a stream of consciousness so I perfectly understand if you – just about now – decide to leave.  Monks, kids, leaving

 

I twist it around my finger.  It is loose.  I slowly, very slowly start sliding it off.  My movement is fluid but comes to an abrupt halt as it reaches the nail bed.  Wedding Band, Gold Band I twist the band once again, close my eyes and, in one swift move, slide it into my right hand gripping it and surrounding it.  Three years ago my movements were reversed and I was sliding my mom’s wedding band on.  It took me almost two years  to be able to take it off.   I lost track of where it was after that and assumed I lost it.  In the first days of January of this year it surfaced unexpectedly.  I took it as a sign and decided that I would wear the simple gold band the first two months of the year as a tribute to the union that gave birth to me and made me who I am. Both my parents passed in 2010.  My mom in January and my father in February.  Today, the last day of February, it is time to take it off once again.

Pouting  I hate goodbyes. Goodbye Looking back a few years, it seems that I have been bidding farewell to so very much.  To places.  To life as I know it.  To sentimental bonds.  Every one of those separations, be they physical or emotional has brought me a greeting of some sort that has made me happy, Happy changed me and enriched me but I still am not fond of them.

The band is still ensconced in my hand.   I open my fist and am certain that I will not wear it again.  This time I must really let go.  The song from Disney’s Frozen, Let It Go, comes to mind and am grateful that it does,: for one line says: “Let it go, let it go and I’ll rise like the break of dawn…”

You will always be with me Mom and Dad MaandPa and I will forever be grateful for so much that you have given me.  You can let go of my hand now.  I need to take the rest of the journey alone.  I'll Be Fine

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Fog Guides Me Back to What I Love

It suddenly gets dark in my home office and as I glance out my window I see… nothing.  An afternoon fog has cloaked the beach and the pier and has made them invisible.  I’ve been yearning for a reason to stop doing what I should be doing and haven’t started doing so in a move I have not done in a long time, I reach for my camera, get my iPod and head out without a second thought.

fishermen, pier, Long Beach, Belmont Veterans Memorial PierAs I walk out to the pier the fog is still thick but it doesn’t stop the fishermen from going to their usual spot.

The lifeguards wouldn’t be able to see much if they were at their post.

Lifeguards, Long Beach, fog, beach

The Belmont Veterans Memorial Pier in Long Beach is home to homeless, to fishermen, to seagulls, pelicans (and many other, unidentified by me, species), tourists, photographers and more.pier, Long Beach, fog

But I am interested in what happens below it so I take the path downwards.  Where the fog does not seem to interrupt daily activities.

 

pier, beach, Long Beach, fog    Long Beach, fog, pedestrian path, bike path

I don’t follow the path.  I go under the pier. pier, Long Beach, fog, beach, sand  pier, Long Beach, beach, fog

First I look across, fog, Long Beach, sand delaying what I am sure will delight my camera and myself.  And it indeed does  Belmont Veterans Memorial Pier, Long Beach, pier, fog

Belmont Veterans Memorial Pier, Long Beach, pier, fog   Belmont Veterans Memorial Pier, Long Beach, pier, fogBelmont Veterans Memorial Pier, Long Beach, pier, fog

Am I somewhere else?  I must look back and check.   Belmont Veterans Memorial Pier, Long Beach, pier, fog

And once I’m sure I am not lost I once again enter trancelike state. Belmont Veterans Memorial Pier, Long Beach, pier, fogBelmont Veterans Memorial Pier, Long Beach, pier, fog  Belmont Veterans Memorial Pier, Long Beach, pier, fog

But my beach is being invaded…  Long Beach, beach, fog

So I look the other way.  Long Beach, beach, fog

 

 

 

 

 

 

To a spot of the beach where birds can play (or fight).   Long Beach, beach, fog, birds

Stare…  Long Beach, beach, fog  Where love is present and blind.  Long Beach, beach, fog, love

Where a congregation is not unruly.Long Beach, beach, fog

Well, maybe just a tad…Long Beach, beach, fog, birds

Where people come to de-stress…Long Beach, beach, fog

Or ignore the waves and the beach altogether…Long Beach, beach, fog

Where unfortunately, man leaves his tracks…Long Beach, beach, fog

Where a father and son bond in daily exercise and share their path with seagulls…Long Beach, beach, fog, runners, father and son   Long Beach, beach, fog

Long Beach, beach, fog, pier I go back to the magnet that the pier has turned out to be for my camera.  Long Beach, beach, fog  Long Beach, beach, fog  On my way there these flowers on their last breath stop me in my tracks.  Is it an offering to Iemanjá, the Queen of the Ocean, in Brazilian culture?  Long Beach, beach, fog, flowers, offering  Long Beach, beach, fog   So much to photograph I don’t seem to be able to still my mind or my steps.  Long Beach, beach, fog  Long Beach, beach, fog  Long Beach, beach, fog  Long Beach, beach, fog  So I go up the pier to where I started.  Long Beach, beach, fog, pier

 

 

Where I am reminded that I really haven’t been traveling at all.  Long Beach, beach, fog, pier

 

 

Long Beach, beach, fog, pierLong Beach, beach, fog, pier

Long Beach, beach, fog, pier   Long Beach, beach, fog, pier

But somehow I do feel as if I have taken a short trip and as I leave the pier I feel recharged and ready to tackle what I had procrastinated in doing.  Pier  Long Beach, beach, fog, pier

Maybe…

 

 

 

 

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